Week two

So it's week two on my meds. Last week I took only a half pill at a time and it seemed to work pretty well. I took one half twice a day so that I could ease into them. They worked really well and I got a lot done on them but they didn't seem to last very long which I guess is pretty expected since it's such a small dosage. Over the weekend I was at Sooner Con working on panels and networking while trying to get a little bit of work done for my layout job. I didn't really need them but I tried them on Friday and decided to not take them the rest of the weekend since I didn't need them to focus and don't particularly enjoy how fuzzy I get after they wear off.

This week I kept forgetting to take them until today and I took a whole pill instead of just half of one. It's worn off now and the only side effect so far has been dry mouth which I hate because I drink a lot of water and it won't go away even after drinking three pints of water... I guess it isn't as bad as the fuzzy feeling even though it is annoying... I do have noticed that I need to be mindful of my eating otherwise I seem to not notice that I've forgotten to eat which isn't ok but from talking to some friends seems to be completely normal. 

Hoping that I can kick out this ten page paper out in two days... I've been ignoring it a bit...

I'll try to keep updating as I get used to the meds. I'm thinking about starting up a vlog for updates too...

Me at Sooner Con this last weekend.

Waiting

Not really too much going on on the ADHD front right now besides the usual. I got my homework done put it up on the board critiqued it took it down to hand in to the professor and what did I do? I put it in my bag to take home.... What? Thank god my professor remembered that I had done it on time... Ugh. I'm waiting to hear from the office for word on if my paperwork has come in which should be soon but they have at least 30 days which seems like forever to me right now. 

In other news I'm sick while on the last leg of my design project. Grrr... I'm hoping that it doesn't turn into bronchitis like it typically does... but oh well... We are nearly at dress rehearsals I just hope that I don't fall asleep during them next week even the 4 hours I was on campus today wiped me out... I got two thirty minute naps in today though which is nice...

I think part of my issue with not feeling well is since I've been so busy I haven't exactly been eating the best which makes my impulses 10x worse. D: So my 'oh crap I wasn't able to pack my lunch today so I'm going to go get food turns into 'oh lets just do that for dinner too'. Luckily I haven't gone over my budget for the month yet but I'm pretty dang close! Blah! 

OH! I keep making bows too and they are really cute. If you want to see some more I typically post them up on my instagram 'sewingartist' is my username so look me up!

Oh and my room is a mess again... whoo.. so there is no update picture on that last post... Oops. Maybe next week after my three tests and my show opens?

ADHD Diet Image

I made this a few weeks ago but I finally saved it in jpg format to post it.

This does not mean that this is ALL that you eat. Just what should be included into your diet. You can do a heck of a lot with a little though. I usually get tofu, chicken, avocados, fruit, seaweed, and sweet potatoes every week plus a few other things like almond milk and walnuts. I try to stay away from eating breads and candies but trust me I still do I downed an entire box of Lemon Heads this morning and have cookies that my mom made me that are staring me in the face. Eeep!

Room update: Desk is clean, trash taken out, laundry is getting washed and I'm starting to hang up clean clothes that were on the floor. I got several medium sized plastic baskets that I got at Dollar Tree and a little drawer thing to hold tacks and things. I'll post a picture once it's done.

~Elizabeth

Why am I so early?

I got to school about an hour ago(8AM) and I don't have class until 9:30 though. I knew I got out early because I needed to go to CVS to get candy for my scene in acting class but getting on campus is a little too early... So why am I so early? 

Luckily 40 minutes till class I remembered that I needed to print off my Award winner assignment. Which is Edward Gorey one of my favourite illustrators!! So I ran to the printing lab and printed it off. the 7¢ grey scale printer was out so I had to use the 35¢ colour one even though my paper and pictures are all in grey scale.... Oh well... 

I have my lines memorised now though!!!

Pulling it together

I got very little sleep last night due to working late(11PM) and having to do homework. Tonight I got out normal time (5PM) but I had lab till 8PM. I've been working on drafting and attempting to memorize lines for a scene that i have to preform tomorrow. Memorizing lines is so hard right now since I have so much to do and remember right now so it's a struggle to get things in my head. Luckily I know the sorter ones pretty well just the longer ones are difficult.

I'm starting to get nervous about friday too... I don't know what to expect and how much therapy will help...

Breakfast- walnuts & chocolate chips apple grape juice
Lunch- turkey, carrots, strawberries, black berries, & mushrooms.
Snack- chocolate, lemon cake slice(edit:I forgot about the cake)
Dinner- spicy tuna avocado sushi roll, Sweet potato, butter.

I might start putting down Food since it can be a huge impact on my day.

Crashing down.

Right now I feel like my life is spiraling out of my control. I can't grasp the idea of a project that is 3 plates that are 18x24 each and I can only work on it weekdays 8AM- 7PM... with 33 blocks of math each and they all take somewhere between 15- 30  minutes for each box. So thats around 8.25-16.5 hours to just do the boxes not even including the actual layout of the plates...
It was due at 8AM this morning and I can't really get a proper extension since I can't get help yet from the learning center... I should be able to get it done by Thursday morning...

Drafting is hard and the requirements is completely unreasonable... We only had 1 1/2 weeks to do this project while everyone was finishing up Drowsy Chaperone; I was completing my design assignment since we start the build on that at the end of this week and getting my portfolio ready for today. I really don't know how time got away from me but I also do know... I need help... and bad cause I know I'm a good student and I hate myself for not getting things done on time.

This is a common view of mine in the shop. You can see Robert at his cutting table.

Being gifted sucks.

Just being honest from my point of view.

Being gifted with talent or intelligence is the worst. I'm constantly running in first while others try and trip me up like it's some kind of sick competition. I'm wonderfully gifted at art but I hate admitting that to my peers because I know for a fact that it is true. Some of them hadn't even heard of a colour wheel till they took a drawing and rendering class in college. I was shocked to be honest since they had boasted about their skill. I've tried to hide mine but once they see they are devastated and loose their own confidence... That's the worst part... Without me doing anything but allow them to glance or look at my sketch book pages I have destroyed someone's ego and caused them to think they will never succeed. It hurts my soul to see it, some hide it behind praise for how great my hand is but I can still see the pain in their eyes.
The same goes with fixing things in the shop or sewing. I can be given the same project at the same time and finish it before the other person is half done and it is generally as close to perfect as it can be... I hate it. I work hard and that is all I strive to get things done so I can move onto the next thing.

Yesterday was no different... I was caught in the cycle I had to present my designs for the opera Alcina that we are working on... I feel disgusted with myself seeing the defeated look of 20 people all at once. It hurts. I sped through my presentation partially because of this and partially due to my 20 minutes getting cut to 10. Mortified. I got praise and I also got looks of distain as I walked out. This is also a graduate level project not a first design assignment for an undergrad...

Today I was given a complicated project that after the fact I was told was something they normally would have given to one of the professional shop staff but they were too busy with other builds... All that time I thought that I was working way too slow but the jacket looked like it had been to the professional tailor so I guess I did well...

 Ugh. 

Tuesday I have a portfolio review at 12:30 with the painting professor to tack on an Art minor to go with my Art History minor. I might overwork myself a little too much... Oops. 18 hours for both of my final semesters for undergrad? Don't mind if I do. 

This is one of the many gem's from my portfolio.

Appointment with therapist on the 14th... Valentines day... ugh. 

~Elizabeth

My intro

I've struggled with ADHD/ADD symptoms since I was 10 I was diagnosed around the age of 12 and put on Concerta they upped my dosage way too quickly(72mg!!) and I began to get awful side effects and passed out in class. Needless to say at 12 that scared me out of medicine of any kind for several years. To this day I am still weary of taking medications but much better.
Through the rest of Middle School and High School I managed my ADHD symptoms through keeping active with ballet and drawing. I've always been a gifted artist so that was my primary way of drawing me back in and settling me down or keeping my hands busy while a teacher talked. I was always getting into trouble for making my sketch book out but a few teachers understood once I explained why I had to do it. When they would take it away I would just space out or I would sit there and fidget till I drove my class mates nuts.

 I'm a bit of a geek and can't decide on a haircolour.

Now I'm in my 4th year of college and my symptoms have been becoming unmanageable. I fidget, stare off, forget to do my readings, forget to buy books, get distracted by a new project at work when I haven't finished the last one yet. My work isn't exactly the most ADHD/ADD friendly.. I work in theatre. Its a world where you give your soul to a production, it runs for a week then it's taken to the dry cleaners and hung on metal hangers till someone else wants to put it on an actor. It's so quick paced which I enjoy because you go from one thing to the next but occasionally I'll get three different jobs at once and I'll get so confused on what needs to be done first. I get into trouble for that a lot...

Since my symptoms have becoming unmanageable I have been trying to eat healthier, workout when I have time, and schedule myself. I am currently eating a semi-paleo diet and I don't eat dairy. I've been doing a little better but it's hard to eat extremely healthy on a student budget especially when you have social friends who don't have dietary restrictions. I'm also starting to see a therapist at the school medical center for my symptoms and talking about whether or not medication is a good option for me. I guess for now what I'm doing will work but the anxiety that my symptoms cause is almost debilitating.

 This is one of the theaters that I work in for school 

And this is one of my pieces of digital art. (1hour drawing)

Till next time! 

~Elizabeth S.