At last!!!

So Yesterday was my first Psychologist appointment. Her and my therapist were in agreement that it was probably best that I try meds especially since I had a history of ADHD and have been on Concerta before. She asked me questions about myself and past visits to therapists and brought up my 'depressed' stage of life when I had a lot of deaths in the family and around me so that was a little awkward but I haven't shown anything similar since early college when my hormones began to settle down. We also talked about her Lynx cats that she had pictures of in her office.

Anyways, after the round of questions she prescribed me a low dose of Adderall  to take as needed. I took half of the pill to start out with this morning and started to work on homework. It helped a bit to just not make my brain think about a thousand things at once which was refreshing. After about 3.5 hours my head got fuzzy and I felt like I needed a nice nap which after talking to my best friend I guess that meant it was wearing off. So I realised it was lunch time and had lunch with a water and took the other half to continue working. After the second dose wore off around dinner I was almost done with homework but not fully finished so I was a little frustrated but decided I could finish it on my own. Granted it took the rest of the day to finish when it might have been done quicker other wise... I have another round of homework and a quiz tomorrow to do as well as some layout work to do so I'll get to test it out again. I'm hoping that I'll get used to the part where it wears off cause that's a bit of a bummer when it happens... Maybe they can put me on a slow release during the school year...

Oh and I found my keys while on my meds today... They've been missing since Sunday.

A work in progress for a commission that I'm working on.

Finally progress

Ok ok. So it's summer and I haven't posted much because of that since not much is really going on. I've been working on freelance work and struggling on getting one piece finished because of distractions which include a summer course.

Good news though! I've managed to get an appointment with a psychiatrist on the 24th! Apparently my paperwork came in a few weeks ago but no one thought to tell my therapist so that she could refer me to their psychiatrist. I am sooo relieved that something might actually happen before the end of the summer... If something doesn't I might cry. I managed to get 4 B's, 1 A, and 1 S. This is much lower than my normal average of mostly A's.

Sometimes I feel like I am screaming for help on a busy street but everyone is deaf... Not sure if this is the norm or not...

School is out

School is now out for the summer so I'm free right? No not really... Still no updates from the office about my paperwork. To top the lack of papers most of my summer is self motivated I don't get any class credit and I might not get paid to start putting a 500+ piece collection back together, documenting it, and beginning the preservation process, which is very frustrating. I'm starting to write grant proposals and put paperwork together so we can get the money to do all of this... Hopefully. 

Overall though things are fine I guess I'm still getting distracted by things that I don't necessarily need to do when there are more important things that I probably should do but I guess thats how the ball rolls in this court. 

I will be at SoonerCon 23 this year in Midwest City doing some costuming panels which should be super fun to do. Being on costuming panels means that I need to work up some cash to work on some rather swank costumes though so I look like I know what the hell I'm doing. So for that I got an illustration commission I'm doing and painting a face-up on a lady's doll which I'm slightly nervous about. 

Oh and I'm also looking into grad schools right now for Costume/fashion History. Yay! 

This is me working on the vintage/antique collection.

Spring time

Not too much from the usual has been going on as of late. I've been getting things done and worked on fairly on time and haven't missed any classes. I've forgotten some things and put off others but all in all I'm doing fairly well... I haven't gotten any updates as far as getting my papers in since I'd have to call during a break that isn't lunch, which those breaks don't really exist for me... But whatever. Allergies are my main concern right now since they made me sleep from 10:15 PM yesterday till 2:00PM today... So my overall day is cut more than in half since I typically wake up at 8 AM.

I was hoping to sew myself a 1930's dress to wear for a scene but since I slept for so long I just went to goodwill and bought a cheap dress that was a similar shape. Oh well we live and learn I suppose...

My spending has been a little wonky since I kept eating out for lunches and dinners but now I've gotten some food that I can easily cook and PB&J so I can have a lazy lunch.

Why my drafting class will be the death of my GPA

Last night I finished my drafting project at 10:30 which I figured was a great time to finish, get home, and go to bed. I woke up this morning and saw my petrified piece of wood on my desk and remembered that I have a friggin geology test which I forgot because I would like to get a B in drafting which is my minimum grade for most of my classes, if that is even possible to get seeing as most of the drafting class hasn't gotten anything higher than a C on their projects. I feel so sick to my stomach that I wasn't able to remember my geology test! I had it written own too!

• Drafting takes precedence over other classes and work to the professor
• No Clear Instructions
• Grading system is based on his mood and if your drawing looks pretty
• No realistic timeline(maybe in the real world)
• Lab is the only place to work on it which is only open 8AM-5PM and only two people have a key and only one is in our class. 
• Late late nights are spent in the lab by others who simply copy other's work who finished it first. 
• Copy cats tend to get better grades than the ones who free handed it. 

I've also been falling behind in Acting class because of drafting. It's all my scene partner can focus on right now since his grandmother has been so sick and died over the weekend so we have had absolutely no time to go over our script and practice. 

I want to cry right now My GPA is slipping so bad right now since so few of my classes are actually applicable to my major right now. 

Predicted results(With optimism)

Geology- B

Character Study- C

Drafting- C

Lighting Design- B

Adv. Costume Construction- A

Special Studies- A

With that Result I might  be able to get a 3.0 when I typically get a 3.5 which is between a B+ and A- GPA and 3.0 is a solid B which would bring my over all down. 

Predicted results(Without optimism)

Geology- C

Character Study- D

Drafting- D

Lighting Design- C

Adv. Costume Construction- A <---Already know my grade

Special Studies- A <--Already know my grade

With those results I'd have a... 2.47. I think I would start sobbing at that point... I haven't had that low of a GPA since I was in Middle School...

Quick update

It has been a while since I updated and I am sorry for that I have been crazy busy these last few weeks. I had spring break, a conference, and then had to catch up on homework. So it has been crazy.

Update on psychiatrist stuff: I called back over spring break to make an appointment with one of the higher rated psychiatrist offices. Well they were closed. I called again this week(I was in Fort Worth last week) and they said they would call me back. Three days later I haven't gotten a call... I am a bit angry about it. So I got a new list from my therapist/coach on friday and I will call them on Monday I am so tired of this spinning around. I also found out on Friday that the old office I was requesting documents from (submitted the paper work 2 months ago) didn't receive it! UGH! I'm so frustrated with this...

My therapist keeps pushing me towards meds now because there is literally only so much that I can do with coping mechanisms but my mind is always out of whack so I can't even slow down my brain enough to do them now. Things that used to work don't any more like keeping a planner. I want to try the meds to see if they help but the last time I took medication it made me feel awful and pass out. At the time I was using Concerta so I know I shouldn't take that. If anything similar or any major mood changes happen I will continue to not take medications.

Someone help me. T_T

Spring break

Last week was spring break... Probably the best worst week I've had. Of course I had stuff that I needed to do and I also chose to work but most of the time it was very apparent that I just wanted to laze around all week. It kind of makes me feel awful because I got so little done when I had a good doable list that I wanted to finish but... it didn't happen. It's kind of sad to be honest but I can't change that now. I have school today and tomorrow then I go off to USITT, the apartment inspectors are coming sometime this week and my room is a mess, I haven't finished one of my illustrations for USITT that should have been done ages ago, and I have a vest and tunic that I want to do some hand embroidery on but I only got the tunic sewn together. The good print shop was closed last week too so I couldn't push myself to get the illustration(which is really a simple colouring at this point)finished by wednesday. I hate being so disappointed with myself but thats the way that it goes really...

I tried getting an appointment with a psychiatrist but their office was closed for spring break. I'm so annoyed that it isn't funny at all. It's like life doesn't want me to get help and makes me just want to stick with therapy/coaching but my therapist said that she would recommend medications for me. Still waiting on that paperwork too... So who knows when that will actually get here it's been 40 days now and they legally have 60 days max to get it to us.

Photo credit: Myself